


'Cause this shit never happens to me

by Bronx, HanHan_Solo156



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Co-writing project, Dark, Dark side of being famous, Drug Use, Experiments, Flashbacks, Horror, Hospitals, Mental Health problems, Multi, Overdosing, Panic, Richard has a sister, Rping going into fic suddenly, Smut, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23189131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bronx/pseuds/Bronx, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanHan_Solo156/pseuds/HanHan_Solo156
Summary: Life seems to be a set of spiral stairs going eternally downwards.Or, Hanhan's and Bronx's messing around and writing stories hah.
Relationships: Richard Kruspe/Paul Landers, Richard Kruspe/Till Lindemann
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. The first fall is the hardest

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first chapter. It's written in first person although the rest of the story is in third person. Don't ask, we don't know why. But we had fun!

I put my keys into the lock of my brother's house. The stench of alcohol and other various drugs filled my nose instantly. I was getting so sick of this. 

Knowing how dirty the house already was, I didn’t bother in taking my shoes off. Going into the living room, I found my brother lying passed out on his couch, like always. The coffee table beside him was filled with white powder residue and empty liquor bottles. 

With a heavy sigh I called his name and lightly shook him. No response. Not that I was really expecting any. 

‘’Reesh. Wake up.’’ 

I lightly backhanded him, expecting at least something, but there was nothing. Not even a flinch. I repeated his name, a bit louder, and slapped his face another time. Still, nothing. 

Now I was starting to worry. He usually showed signs of consciousness when I did this but... 

I put my fingers against his neck, searching for a pulse... And more and more frantically looking for it when I found none. Beginning to panic, I pulled my phone up and called for an ambulance. 

Sure, I was a fucking nurse, I should know what to do, but the mere sight of my brother maybe dying in front of me left me paralyzed. All I could do was give short answers to the emergency service and watch him with a sense of panic swelling in my chest. 

As soon as paramedics arrived, I was shoved aside, standing quietly in the corner watching them trying to start his heart again. I felt like I watched it all in slow motion. Finally, one of them exclaimed ‘’We’ve got a pulse!’’, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. 

I was forgotten, standing there in the corner, and they rushed him into one of the ambulances outside and drove away with blue lights flashing. 

I watched as they drove away, standing in the cold doorway of my brother's house. Feeling lost in a pit of despair, I sat down at the cold stone step in front of the door. It was freezing cold, due to being the middle of February, but I didn’t care. I was numb. 

So numb, that I didn’t register Till pulling up on the driveway, looking at me with furrowed brows as he parked. He jolted me out of my thoughts as he came closer, crouching down in front of me and putting a broad hand on top of my shoulder. 

‘’Lina? You okay?’’ 

I quietly shook my head, still staring at my old boots. I was sure as hell not okay. Not after that ordeal. With eyes brimming with tears, I finally met Tills eyes. 

‘’Reesh is at the hospital... They had to restart his heart...’’ 

By now, my tears were flowing freely as I realized exactly what had happened. He had been dead, the only family I had left, my big brother. I was minutes from losing him for good. 

Till looked at me, his eyes filled with worry and the seriousness of the situation. With gentle hands he helped me up and led me to the big SUV he’d come here in. After taking care of me, making sure I was properly buckled up, he went around the car, and got in behind the wheel. 

As the car started up, so did the sound system, blaring out an unreleased song from Emigrate, which Richard had asked Till to listen in on. If possible, my heart shattered into even smaller pieces. My loud sobbing began anew, and even though Till turned the radio off as soon as he possibly could, the damage was already done. 

The ride to the hospital was silent, save for the hum of the engine. I couldn’t bear talking at the moment, all that circled in my mind was my brother. 

In the hospital, Till had to do the talking, both to the receptionist and later, the nurse. I was thankful for not having to keep it together enough to do so. Till was, and had always been a rock you could trust whatever happened. Unlike his stage persona, he was a huge teddy bear. During all those years I’d known him, I could almost count on my hands the times I'd seen him angry for real. Sure, sometimes reporters and media could get on his nerves at times, but only then was he mildly annoyed. All the boys, and me, were incredibly lucky to have him. 

Snapping me out of my thoughts, Till had grabbed my shoulder gently, and started walking me down the bland grey corridors. The hospital in itself was absolutely depressing. Like it wasn’t horrible enough to be there to begin with.


	2. The reign of despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this part is written by me (hanhanhan156) and Bronx together on Discord, our writings neatly wrapped together. It's been an interesting journey this far and only thing we know is that the shit is going to hit the fan. Hard.
> 
> Also, at this point it is probably good to say that DISCLAIMER even though the characters and events have a real life reference, this whole story is completely fictional - created by two weird minds. All the respect and love for all of the guys of Rammstein, always and forever.
> 
> This chapter contains a flashback from the past, then neatly moving to what is happening after the incident in the first chapter.
> 
> Brace yourselves for the rollercoaster!

~***~

_Even the smallest steps we take,_

_The smallest interactions,_

_May lead us to the path of triumph,_

_Or destruction._

~***~

_Mutter had been their most difficult album to make this far - constant arguing, sulking and negative atmosphere in general was following them. The band was on the verge breaking up, giving up of everything they had achieved this far - but, as some voice in the back of their heads was still forcing them to continue, with the last strength they had, they started touring. After all, the show must go on, in every case. The audience was craving for more so the band needed to give them what they wanted._

_Tonight was the start of the show in their home country before they would start touring around Europe. The band was chilling in the backstage with the staff and a bunch of friends, chatting and drinking. Even though the atmosphere had a kind of artificial cheerful vibes, one of them in the room was troubled._

_In the darkest corner of the backstage, sat a man with black, spiky hair, deeply in his own thoughts. Something that his fellow bandmate had said to him earlier that day had made him feel uncomfortable. He had been trying his best to shake the feeling off, but as the evening went on, he felt like it was only getting stronger._

_Richard repeated the words in his head over and over, trying to grasp some sense from them, but to no avail._

_“This is going nowhere,” Paul had burst out when their soundcheck had gone terribly. That was not the only reason though - the whole band was distressed and tired of each other after too many difficulties._

_After his statement, Paul had demonstratively almost thrown his guitar back to the rack, stopping by only inches away from his fellow guitarist’s face._

_“And I’m especially ashamed to be in this band with **you** ,” he had spat out. “ **You** are the cause for this whole fucking chaos.”_

_After Paul had left, no one had seen him. Schneider had called him and assured that he was at least coming to the show, just needing his own time before - no further explanations._

_As Richard was always the sensitive one, always sucking in everyone’s emotions - both negative and positive - he was sure that Paul was avoiding him on purpose. Luckily, Paul was responsible enough to come to the show, carry it out like any other job and then forget the whole thing - not getting too personal or intimate with anyone._

_Dear Christ, how much it hurt Richard as even though he didn’t want to admit it, he wanted to be as close to Paul as he could - but, the other man didn’t want him close to him._

_The pain was both mental and physical - Richard didn’t know how he could go over this: admit the fact that he had ruined their friendship, and perhaps, something more. Seemed like Paul was ready - and willing - to abandon him._

_Richard’s heart had been shattered into pieces - and the only one he could blame was **himself**._

_Sighing heavily, Richard stood up and decided to have a smoke - still one hour to go, so he had a lot of time to calm down his frantic nerves. Maybe the nicotine would make his mood at least a tiny bit better so it wouldn’t affect his playing. He didn’t want to know what would happen in case he would fail tonight’s show._

_When he was standing alone in the terrace, about to lit up the bitter roll between his fingers, a familiar female voice shouted behind him: “Reeshie!”_

_Richard turned. “Hello to you too, Lina.” He forced a tiny smile on his face. “How is it going?”_

_“Gut, gut,” Lina answered when she was next to his brother and looked at him with an ambiguous look. She looked at the same time languid and frenetic if it was even possible. It was notable that she was lost - physically being in this moment, but her mind was somewhere far out._

_Lina took her brother to a warm embrace and when they parted, she still had that undecipherable look in her eyes. This close, Richard could see that her pupils were wide, like a cat’s that had been scared._

_“Dear sister, what is it?” Richard asked._

_Suddenly, Lina burst out laughter. “You know what…” she started and cracked up again, waving her hands in front of her._

_Now Richard was sure that his instinct was right: his sister had taken something else than only a pre-show shot. “Seriously, what is it?” he asked with an imperative tone and put his hands on his sister’s shoulders. “Please, tell me.”_

_Lina leaned closer to her brother and whispered: “Do you want to go to the worlds no one has ever explored?”_

_From the cryptic question, Richard knew where this was leading to. “Not really. Didn’t we promise that we were out of that shit already?”_

_Lina shook her head. “This is waaaay better than some lousy pot we used to smoke together when we were young.” She smirked smugly. “Also, I quarantine that this stuff I have will send you to seventh heaven. Imagine what it will do to your playing… imagine, how it will help your anxiety.”_

_“You know very well that there’s not a quick-fix to that.”_

_“You can’t be sure if you don’t try,” Lina said at the same time when she started to dig up her pockets, mumbling: “Where is it…”_

_With an exclaim of joy, she found what she was looking for and opened her palm: there rested an innocent-looking glossy pill. To the outside, it didn’t look anything more than just a mere painkiller._

_“What is that?” Richard asked with a shaky voice that was unable to hide his nervousness. This was going to be uncomfortable enough. He was worried about her sister - especially when she had a profession in which she had easy access to any experimental chemicals she wanted._

_Lina handed the pill to Richard’s palm and squeezed their hands together. “Try it and I promise that you won’t be disappointed,” she said and pressed a tiny smooch on her brother’s cheek. “Have a hell of a show, as always. You are the best!”_

_Then she disappeared as quickly as she had appeared, leaving bemused Richard alone in the cold February night._

_Richard had clearly a fight going on in his head: another side of him said that he should throw the damn pill to the trash immediately. Hell, he was out of this shit already, and this small innocent step could lead him into the endless torment again._

_Opening his palm, Richard stared at the pill - he had to make a decision. Time was running out._

_Could it be that bad? Besides, he’d had a lousy day. Maybe some help could distract his thoughts, his self-accusation. At least send him somewhere else for a while. He deserved it._

_Without realizing what he was doing, Richard swallowed the pill and continued as nothing had happened._

_~***~_

Till woke up from his shallow nap - he’d been dozing on and off since he’d gotten to the hospital.

”FUCKING HELL, LET ME IN!” a familiar voice shouted and broke into the already way too tight room even though the nurses were trying to stop him.

Till rubbed his eyes and looked at the intruder. “P-Paul?” he asked with a raspy voice.

Paul wrestled out of the grips of the nurses as he finally came into the room. He'd basically been dragging them in there, all the way from the front desk. The commotion was loud, but Richard was still out cold. He looked fragile as he lied there, tubes and machines all around. The sight made Paul’s stomach twist up in a painful knot. He preferred seeing his... well... _friend_ , more awake, happy and laughing. He missed that smile, more than anything in the world right now.

With broken eyes, Paul looked at Till. ''What the fuck has happened?''

Standing up and letting a heavy sigh, Till replied: “He passed out.” He tried at the same time ignore the fact that Paul was unnecessarily close to his fellow guitarist, squeezing his hand and stroking his pallid forehead gently.

Paul turned to look at Till. “People just don’t happen to _pass out._ ” He had a feeling that Till wasn’t telling him the whole truth. “I asked, what the fuck happened to him?”

Till looked suddenly so timid - he was busy studying his hands, avoiding Paul’s piercing eyes, full of painful questions. “He… well…” the singer started, but the words got glued to his throat.

_Oh well, it’s probably all the same if I tell him immediately. There’s no avoiding of this hell anymore._

“He did some coke and apparently he’s now in… coma”, he burst out and let out a shaky sob.

''He did _what_?!'' Paul looked at Till with distrust, anger and a _lot_ of questions. He hadn't seen the usual symptoms that came with Richards addiction, the depression and lack of care... He had seemed like himself the last couple of weeks...

The commotion though had disturbed an exhausted sister, currently half-laying on the small couch in the room. Trails of tears were apparent on her face, but she wasn't crying anymore. She was utterly tired and spent, trying to close her eyes and take a silent moment, which the latter had been very much interrupted by Paul. ''Paul, do you think you could lower your voice...?''

”I’M NOT LOWERING MY FUCKING VOICE WHEN THERE ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH! RICHARD IS ALMOST DEAD!” the guitarist yelled.

Lina stood up from the sofa and came only inches away from Paul’s face - the man looked like he could explode at any minute from now.

 _You freaking arrogant son of a bitch...._ She'd had always difficulties with Paul whose sarcastic sense of humor and tendency to be witty were difficult for her to deal with.

Just before Lina was about to say something though, a nurse rushed in. “Alles gut hier?” she asked with a voice of concern.

Till nodded. “No need to worry about us.”

The nurse glanced at all the people gathered in the room and didn’t look convinced. She raised an eyebrow. “Just in case you need me, I’m right behind the door.” Then, her gaze stopped at Paul. “The visiting time is 15 minutes,” she stated and left.

Paul breathed heavily, sure that his pounding heart would burst out of his chest sooner or later. His knees were weak. “I… I just need answers,” he said and sniffled.

“Only Richard knows the proper answers and well… you see what his state is now,” Till said, with pure sadness in his voice.

“Can you stop your fucking screaming, so we could talk like adults?” Lina asked - her nerves were already sensitive enough from all the worry and shock, so she didn’t need any more screaming people here. ''Nothing will be solved by fucking shouting, _Paul._ '' It was a quiet growl, Lina would not let the short man in front of her come here and run the place. Richard was _her_ brother, and though he might be in a band with the others, they were still the only _family_ in this room. On this earth for that matter. A strong ''us two against the world'' fueled Lina, and she never let that feeling quite go.

With shaky hands she rubbed her tear-stained face, letting out a shaky sigh and some of the tension she carried. ''You're not the only one who's almost lost someone here today.'' She looked up at Paul with those characteristic eyes - the same color as her big brother.

Something snapped inside Paul when he looked at the familiar, blue-grey eyes. A flash of memory came to him like a thunderbolt: Richard smiling, the genuine beaming reaching to his eyes and revealing those adorable little wrinkles Paul loved so much - or in fact, he loved _every_ single thing about that man.

Paul couldn’t take it like this anymore: he slumped to his knees on the cold floor and buried his face into his hands. "He promised me... he _fucking_ promised me..."

Lina sighed and asked: "He promised you what exactly?"

To that question Paul raised his head from his hands - Lina couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He promised me that he was clean from that junk, but... he… he lied to me," Paul said and started to sob.

''Yes, that’s correct. He lied to all of us...'' Lina added.

Lina hesitated for a moment seeing that she and Paul often collided easily over anything, and now it was a hundred times worse. But she then lowered to the floor, gently resting a hand on Paul’s shoulder. ''We're all in the same boat, y' know...''

Being so tired, Lina sat down on the floor in front of the guitarist. She didn't know where to go. Images of her brother’s lifeless body sat etched into the insides of her eyelids - she couldn't close her eyes. So instead she opened them and saw, well, the exact same thing. And now on top of all this, she felt responsible for dealing with all the friends around them. All the while, the devil on her opposite shoulder told her to push them all out and watch over Richard herself - she was the only true family he had. It tore her apart, and Paul being broken like this didn't make it any easier. ''Paul, I don't really know what we're supposed to do... Can we just... make peace? Even though the devil on my shoulder doesn't want it, I’m just tired of fighting. Please?''

Paul turned to look at the woman who possessed painfully familiar traits and he remained quiet for a while - but, of course, he couldn't resist those pleading eyes. Paul kept staring at the floor, trying to avoid looking at the lifeless Richard, barely breathing on the bed, when he stated: "Yes. But only because you are the sister of a man I love."

Now, Till had woken up from his thoughts when he heard the sentence.

_Of a man I love._

For a second, he had to concentrate. Had he heard correctly? As he'd had severe sleep deprivation for days already, reality and his mind were mixing up, making it difficult for him to comprehend what was created by his own imagination. "What... what did you just say?" Till asked while he was frozen to his place.

Lina looked equally surprised. Only then did Paul realize what he'd said.

 _Shit_.

Panic bloomed in his eyes, knowing he'd outed himself.

''Paul, what on earth do you mean…?'' Lina asked too, confusion written on her face as much as Till’s.

With a sigh, Paul opened his mouth to speak, but no words came, neither from his mouth nor his brain. It was all just static. How would he explain this? The truth?

''We... Reesh and I just... I just love him, okay? And as far as I understood, the feelings were mutual.'' He had what was almost a pout on his face, seeming like he had to defend his feelings.

With that statement, Lina stood up and paced to the window - looking out, not saying a word.

Just when Till was about to say something, the nurse came in again. "15 minutes is now over, so I'm sorry, but you must leave now. A new visiting time will be tomorrow at noon."

No one in the room made any attempt to leave, so the nurse repeated: "Unfortunately, you must go now. Doctor Heindel will soon check the patient." She turned to look at Lina. "We will inform the family as soon as we have some news."

Paul was still sitting on the floor and he looked up. "Will he ever..." he started and gulped audibly, "wake up anymore? And if he wakes up, is he going to remember us? What... what is happening to him? Can he hear us now?"

"The examinations are proceeding and as I said we will inform you as soon as we have some news," the nurse stated her final words, trying to hide her annoyed tiredness behind a professional tone.

Till looked beaten up, totally drained. "Let's go," he said and nodded towards the door.

The trio reluctantly left the room, Lina contemplating to sleep on the couch, but ended up following the guys out when Till put his arm around her shoulders. ''Till? Can you uh… drive me back to Richard's..? My car is still there and uh... I must clean the house...''

Till hummed, but unbeknownst to Lina, he wasn't going to let her clean the house in the state she was. Neither was she fit to drive her car, and Till would be driving Lina home, and stay with her. She needed it, and hell, he was not spending the night alone after this bloody day.

In the car, the duo remained eerily silent, Lina looking out of the window with her glossy eyes while Till tried his best to concentrate on driving them both safely to Richard's place. Paul hadn't said anything to them when they had departed from the hospital. Till could only wonder in his head how big of a mess there was now growing - right now though, Richard's and his sister's well-being was the most important matter. Till tended to be a person who always looked after others before himself.

"Why do you think he... he," Lina said out of nowhere, but stopped for a minute, a sharp sob distracting her capability of speaking.

Till glanced at her quickly and put his huge bear palm to rest on Lina's hand. "It's ok. Just take your time. From all of us, this is the most difficult thing as you are Richard's family." _Of course, Rammstein is also Richard's family,_ Till wanted to add, but he couldn't say it out loud.

Still not able to meet Till's eyes, Lina continued - more speaking to herself than to her car companion. "Why do you think my brother did it? Had he... had he said anything to you or Paul beforehand?" She didn't dare to say out loud her instincts about what Paul might have meant when he had burst out in the hospital. Obviously, all of them loved Richard, but was there some secret meaning behind the powerful words of the other guitarist?

Till shook his head, quickly leaving Lina’s hand alone as he shifted gear, then he placed it back on top of hers. "I don’t think he gave any indication whatsoever, Lina... I’m sorry."

The girl next to him nodded and turned her eyes from her lap back to the city they were driving through. "I feel guilty. I should’ve known something wasn’t right..."

"Lina, please. No one knew, don’t take this out on yourself." Till squeezed her hand tightly to show her that he was here. He recognized that type of behavior - both Richard and Lina were too hard on themselves. He'd seen it tear them apart numerous times.

"Do you think he OD'ed on purpose?"

A chill went down Till’s spine. He sure hoped that wasn’t the case...

Till let out a shaky sigh and shook his head at the same time when he turned from the motorway to a smaller road - as they were getting closer to Richard's home he could feel how the nasty knot in his stomach was getting its grip from him. "I… don't know if that's the case," he said. "Only Richard knows, but..."

Tears started to pour to Lina's cheeks. "I should have done something... it's my fault, my fault only. I... I should have gotten help for him, get him out of that fucking junk that got us into this situation in the first place." She buried her face into his hands and let out a gasp of desperation. "Oh, mein Gott, I know now what this all is about... it all makes sense now..."

"Lina, please, there's no point of speculating," Till tried to soothe the woman but to no avail.

With the eyes reflecting pure pain, Lina turned to Till and said: "I wasn't there when he needed me the most. This all shit is my fault, my fault only. _I'm_ responsible."

At those words, the knot in Till’s stomach only twisted harder. He steered the car into a smaller neighborhood until they finally parked in Richard’s driveway. "Lina, this is absolutely not your fault, how can you say that?"

Till turned the car off, but neither of its passengers made a move to get out.

When Lina seemed to realize what this was about, Till looked at her with big eyes. "How can this possibly be on just you? What's happened?"

Lina clenched her hands into fists as she pondered how much she was willing to tell for the singer. She knew that Till was absolutely trustworthy, but now in her fragile state, she was afraid that she might reveal too much - and if she'd reveal too much, both she and Richard could be in danger. Shaking her head, she said: "Nevermind, let's go." She closed Till's old Volkwagen's door with a loud bang.

"W-wait!" Till tried to shout, but the woman was gone already.

Till too, got out of the car. Didn't matter if they had an unfinished conversation, Lina needed someone right now, he could tell.

Following her inside Richard’s house, the first thing Till saw was the mess in the living room. Lina had not been joking when she had said her brother had taken the drug cocktail of the century: white powder residue, empty liquor bottles, used needles... It was a damn mess.

Lina was sitting on the couch next to the table, the one where she had found her brother the same morning. The look in her eyes was empty, seemingly staring at the mess on the table too.

Till sat down beside her, gently putting an arm on her shoulder. "Lina. You can tell me anything. Please?"

Despite that Till had tried his best to remain calm the whole day now when he was witnessing the mess with his own eyes, he couldn’t help it but shiver.

_What on earth has happened in reality? What is Lina hiding from me?_

A thought he didn't want to admit came to his mind: Richard could have _died_. It was a miracle that his body had handled the number of chemicals he had taken.

When Lina still didn't answer, Till repeated the question, his voice slightly shaking: "Lina. I promise, you can tell me anything, please, I just... I just need answers. For Richard's sake, we both c--"

"You don't understand anything!" Lina suddenly exclaimed while Till next to her on the sofa almost jumped to the roof from the outburst. "You don't understand anything from this hell we have been going through with my brother!"

Till looked at the woman next to him. She may have her brother’s temper, but he'd never seen her this upset.

Lina stood up and started pacing then cleaning the table, seemingly to distract her mind. Her hands were shaking as she started to pick up the empty bottles. She was hyperventilating.

"Lina…?" Till still desperately tried.

She flinched at the sound of her name, looking at Till with those piercing blue eyes. "Till, I need you to shut the fuck up if we're supposed to stay alive, okay?! They’re probably fucking listening."

Till heard the edge in Lina’s tone and looked at her, visibly confused. "Who's listening…?"

Lina gave him a pointed look, obviously irritated.

The doorbell rang. Till got up to answer, and Lina didn’t realize until it was too late.

"Till don’t!"

Outside the door stood two men, dressed in black suits. Lina had dreaded this day... and not _only_ had she managed to pull Richard into this, now Till had to get dragged in as well.

_Shit._

Till raised an eyebrow for the confusing sight in front of him.

"Who...the hell are y--", he started, but couldn't finish the sentence as the two men manhandled him quicker than he could comprehend what was about to happen.

Before everything went black, Till could see Richard offering his hand to him smiling so brightly.

_Come to me, my friend. Alles ist gut._

Even though Till had a nagging feeling that he shouldn't take the offered hand, he still did so and felt a comfortable numbness both in his brain and in his body - all the troubles of the outside world were disappeared.

_I want to stay like this. Forever._

Ironically, Till had a smirk on his face when he passed out.

When Lina realized what had happened, she went totally out of control. "What the hell are you doing!" she shouted and approached to the door. "He has nothing to do with this, you have no right to--"

Again, a loud bang and Lina joined Till to the floor - they both were unconscious, at the mercy of the two unknown guys.

The other of the duo, bald and slightly bigger than his companion, dialed a number on his phone. "Team Falcon reporting to Cobra. Mission completed here," he stated with a heavy accent - Eastern European, perhaps. "How did you manage with Landers?"

“I can only say that boy, wasn’t he stubborn for a man so small,” the voice from the other side of the phone replied. “But we have him.”

The bald man smirked by himself. “Excellent.”


	3. Welcome to the experiment

~***~

_Disembodied in despair,_

_I’m alone in this asylum._

_The only one I can blame,_

_Is myself._

~***~

_Nothing happened when Richard had swallowed the suspicious pill Lina had given him: he’d had his smoking time alone without interruptions. For a while Richard even wondered that maybe Lina had tricked him and given him a mere painkiller, just to tease him. It would be quite typical for his sister._

_But when he went back inside the venue, the unknown chemical flowing inside his body started to affect._

_At first, it was still quite small: the faces of the people he saw were blurry and his vision was a bit wobbly in general making it difficult to walk straightly. Some of the tour staff looked at him weirdly, but Richard didn’t care: he simply waved for the curious faces, pretending that he was perfectly fine._

_When Richard went to the toilet, he had to rub his eyes, to test was this only mere fatigue or what: but no, the world around him was still weird, getting only more and more bizarre._

**_What the hell is happening to me? What did I take?_ **

_At the same time when Richard started to wash his hands, he looked at himself from the mirror: or was it even himself? Who was he? Did he even exist or was it just imagination, doing its tricks? Uncomfortable thoughts started to swirl around his mind: he was questioning his whole existence now in this fragile state._

_Richard touched the image of himself like an alien seeing a human being the first time in its life. He trailed his fingers along his features reflected on the dirty mirror: features he had to look at every single day, but now he felt he had no idea who he was looking at._

_Backing up and almost falling when the room around him swirled around, Richard panted, unable to soothe the pounding heart on his chest. He was dizzy and couldn’t catch his breath. Panic and anxiety were familiar to him, but what he was feeling now he couldn’t even describe in words._

_At least some rational thoughts came to his mind: **That surely was some weird shit Lina gave me. And how long this is going to affect?**_

_When Richard managed to get back to his feet, he slowly reached the mirror and looked at himself again: this time, the image was changed though._

_There were quick flashes: a flash of Paul, Till, Lina, Richard himself as an uncertain teenager. All of them lived in him, yet, it was only the present **him** , only his consciousness confined in this body - only his fucked-up mind. What did it mean to be “him”? Was he only imagining this whole thing that was called “him”? _

_All was one, yet he was trapped in his ego - the realization hit him right into guts when he was getting more and more high._

_The questions of life and death revolved around Richard’s head: was he now alive? Or death? What did those words even mean?_

_Richard leaned forward so close to the mirror that his nose was touching it. He looked carefully at his eyes: now, he could see the whole universe in them - in his widened pupils._

_He was the **universe.**_

_Richard backed up and laughed: laughed like it was his last day on this miserable earth. He laughed so much that he was in tears already._

_Nothing was going to stop him tonight._

_“I’m fucking alive babe!” he screamed from the bottom of his lungs alone in the toilet. “I’m fucking alive!”_

_When Richard managed to leave the toilet, now totally out of this world, he didn’t realize at first that Paul had joined the backstage. They were supposed to perform only in a couple of minutes, but Richard had lost the sense of time and space: to his mind, those things were useless now. After all, he was the whole universe, so why shouldn’t he even care?_

_Paul took Richard from his arm when the other guitarist was about to pass him.“Reesh, look I just want to say…” he mumbled and didn’t dare to meet the eyes of the other man who he had hurt earlier that day. “I was tired and all that shit, but it wasn’t still an excuse to say all those things I said so--“_

_“You know what, I don’t even fucking care,” Richard said and to Paul’s utter surprise, flashed a smile._

_“W-what?”_

_Richard poked at Paul’s chest and repeated: “I don’t care. In fact, I don’t need you. This universe is mine, **mine** only and you are not part of it. I’ll do what I want, and nothing will stop me. Not even **you**.”_

_Till had listened to the bizarre discussion and as he knew Richard’s past, he was sure that his friend wasn’t being himself anymore. He came right behind Richard’s back and looked at Paul with the eyes of concern. “Alles gut?” Paul didn’t even notice that Till was trying to intervene in the encounter though._

_“H-how… how can you even say things like that?” Tears were starting to burn Paul’s eyes. Maybe he deserved the loathe of the other man - after all, he had been an asshole earlier that day._

_But that didn’t still wipe out the fact that Paul was desperately in love with his colleague - hurt and embarrassed about it inside out._

_Richard let out vicious laughter that echoed in the room. “As I said I don’t need you and I’m perfectly fine like this. I’m fully alive!” he repeated, like assuring himself. He was out of control already, but the confused Paul didn’t know what this all was about._

_After that Richard turned and without hesitation, pulled Till behind him into a deep and sensual kiss before the singer could even comprehend what was happening._

_The only thing Till could do was to froze to his place and let out a helpless gasp - and to his horror, without even noting it, he answered Richard’s kiss that was a bit too passionate in this situation._

_Paul was totally dumbfounded - he noticed how tears were trailing to his cheeks but he couldn’t do anything. He had treated Richard badly and this was the cruel punishment it seemed._

_When Richard parted, he wiped his lips with his sleeve and continued as nothing had happened. “Let’s go,” he simply stated and grabbed his guitar._

_That night, Paul was sure that a piece of his heart had been left to that stupid venue. He decided that he had to push these feelings back - he couldn’t afford to be hurt anymore whether he wanted to stay sane and carry on the tour._

_Till looked at Paul apologetically. “I-I don’t know what junk he’d been taking tonight, but --”_

_“But you still answered,” Paul stated bitterly. “I could see in your eyes how you enjoyed yourself in his embrace.”_

_Before Till could even try to form anything coherent as an answer, they were called to the stage. Paul glanced at Till before but didn’t say anything - his piercing look could tell more than hundred words could._

_It was a look of a man whose heart had been just shattered._

~***~

When Till awoke, it was to the sound of dull thuds and someone grunting. Trying to open his eyes resulted only in a splitting headache to surface. Till took a deep breath, trying to get the ache to subside before he tried opening his eyes again. It took a few minutes but finally, he was able to see his surroundings. The light in the room was artificial, coming from an adjacent room. As he carefully sat up, Till noticed that the room he was in was more or less a cell. The walls were bricks painted white, and the floor had a terribly boring gray color. The light was emanating from a fluorescent light from outside the room, only peeking through the door made of bars.

Before Till knew it, the grunting and thudding had stopped, and a dark figure appeared on the other side of the barred door. They unlocked it, and soon another dark figure appeared and threw something into the cell. As the door was locked again, Till saw what had been thrown in - or rather, who.

Lina laid on the floor, calmly looking at him, covered in bruises and with a bleeding nose. ''I guess I have some explaining to do, huh?''

Till didn't say anything - he felt like he had been utterly betrayed. Hell, the only thing that kept him going was the fact that Richard needed him. He _had to_ stay sane for his sake - no matter what was going to happen.

Lina tried her best to sit up, but as she tried to do so, pain pierced her body so fiercely that she had to remain laid on the floor, panting heavily. She put a hand on her cheek: there was a trail of dry blood there. "As you might have noted, we had some... businesses with my brother. Or do be honest..." she said and gulped loudly, "I... dragged him to this hell we are in now."

"Stop it. Stop it right there," Till said, with a drained voice. "I don't fucking care about your businesses or any other shit. The only thing that matters now is that we survive. That we will be there for your brother instead of rotting in this freaking hellhole." He looked around him: the cell looked almost like a lab or so. Till could only wonder what had been performed there before they had arrived.

Before Lina could answer anything back, they both startled when they heard shrieking from the corridor - like somebody was fighting for his life. They both looked at each other with wide eyes and shivered.

"LET GO OFF ME, YOU FREAKING BITCH! LET GO OF--" a thud and the screaming suddenly stopped.

Both Lina and Till turned completely pale when they realized who it had been: Paul.

"Don't you dare to tell me that he is in this shit as well..." Till mumbled. This was only getting worse.

Soon, the door of the cell opened with a clang and Paul was thrown in there - but to Lina's and Till's surprise, Paul's captor was neither of the men who had intruded their place. Instead, by the door of the cell, there was a red-haired woman who was wearing a lab coat. She was smirking smugly - like she had caught her lab rats neatly into one place.

"My warmest welcome to _my_ experiment," she said with an ominous voice and turned to Lina. "Long time no see, my dear _Karolina_." The woman addressed her victim with her full name which sent shivers down Lina’s spine.

"You!" Lina couldn’t believe her eyes. The pain seemed forgotten; or at least ignored, as Lina flung herself towards the woman, but wasn’t fast enough: she had already closed the door.

"I’m going to _fucking_ murder you!"

The woman only smirked, and calmly went away. Lina turned her back against the door and sank down into a small ball. This situation had just turned a thousand times worse - and somehow, Lina just knew that the red-haired woman was responsible for her brother’s fate - for each of their fates.

_Shit._

In this situation, the only thing Till could do was to slump onto his knees as well to the floor. _What. The. Hell. Is happening here._ “I-I’m speechless now…”

This morning, he had woken up, thought that he’d see Richard in the hospital and continuing his life as normally as he could in this situation, but instead, it was this torment. Like he had been thrown into a horror movie - which was only in its beginning.

“Who was that woman?” Till asked before he realized that Paul was still unconscious. Quickly, he reached his bandmate and tried the pulse - thank God, it was still there. Even though Paul was heavily wounded, he was at least alive. Losing two of his friends during the same day would have been a bit too much.

Lina was still crawled into a tiny ball when she started mumbling: “She… that bitch… she’s my old… colleague. She’s… a doctor.”

Not convinced, Till raised his eyebrow and let out a shaky chuckle. “Don’t tell me that this is about some catfight between you and her…”

Lina shook her head. “It’s far worse than you think. She’s… she’s dangerous.”

“What do you mean?”

Lina sighed. ''She’s a scientist, creating new drugs without ethics. She's trying to get rich.''

Lina remembered very well when the red-haired woman had been fired from the hospital. Someone had exposed that she was working illegally on new ways to get high - in her basement. Since the substances she created weren’t yet banned, she got away from the law - but the hospital fired her. Apparently now, she'd teamed up with the goddamned organization. They were funding her. They too, wanted a new high to sell. _Fuck._

Till paled as Lina explained the situation. This was indeed bad.

''I can almost guarantee she is the one behind fucking up Reesh.'' Lina’s face twisted up in an expression of guilt. This was on her.

“So, what can we do now?” Till asked - it was a desperate situation.

Lina shrugged her shoulders. “We can only wait what she is up to. After all, she’s a psychopath. She doesn’t care about anything besides developing her fucked-up junk, but instead of experimenting with rats she….” Tears gathered to Lina’s eyes when she recalled what had been happening earlier. “Wants to experiment with humans.” She gulped. “And I… I’m responsible why she was fired so… she is having her revenge now. In the most twisted way. And as much as I know about her, it’s not gonna be easy for anyone of us. She… she enjoys pain and suffering way too much.”

“Whatever is going to happen, we must stick together,” Till stated with a firm voice. “We have to look after Paul.”

Lina had forgotten the third victim completely. “Oh, yes.” With worried eyes, she glanced at the man who was still lying on the floor, not moving. “At least he’s still breathing.”

The door cell was opened again and there stood the twisted woman with two bodyguards Lina and Till recognized. In her hand, she had three syringes with neon-colored liquids.

“So, how are my test specimens doing today?” the mysterious woman cooed artificially sweetly.

Lina quickly got to her feet, albeit a bit wobbly. ''You need to fucking back off. You're not getting near us with that shit.'' Lina nodded towards the syringes as she spoke. Lord knows what concoction was inside those. Nothing good at least, that one was for sure.

Till too, stood up and placed a bear hand on top of Lina’s shoulder, standing in solidarity with her. They both stood in front of unconscious Paul, as to protect him from what was going down.

''It's very cute of you, Karolina, to think that you can stop this. You know very well you can't stop this.''

''Well, I'm sure going to fucking try, _Katherine_.'' There was war in Lina's eyes when she had mentioned the name of their torturer out loud.

Katherine’s smirk faded. “You know that I will get mad if you are not playing with me.” She pouted. “I assure you that if you just follow my orders, it’s going to be fine.” She was glancing at the trio like they were her property. Her other eye was dark, almost black, while her other eye was almost transparent. Heterochromia iridium – a rare mutation Katherine was so proud of. When they had been colleagues with Lina, she had been talking constantly about it: constantly about how _special_ she was. A lot about genetics in general - how she thought that with medical science, you could do anything. The only problem was ethics that were only slowing down the development the human race.

“You can only wish,” Lina stated and nodded at Till. They both were in a fighting stance, still covering Paul behind them who looked now even smaller than he was.

A shadow fell on Katherine’s face. She was a woman who was used to getting what she wanted - and now it seemed like she wasn’t going to get it, so she had to take the control back to the situation.

She snapped her fingers and the two bodyguards responded immediately. “Get ‘em, boys.”

Lina, now pissed, launched at one of the henchmen as Till charged at the other, rage clear on his face.

But Till didn’t get far, due to a taser in his opponent’s hand. He crumpled to the floor, awake, but unable to fight. Lina kept on going, basically flinging herself at the henchman and doing all she could: punching, scratching, biting - everything. Although due to her small build and how by now it was the two henchmen against only her, it wasn’t much she could do. It didn’t take long until she was pinned to the floor, just like Till and Paul.

Katherine came closer to the trio and scrutinized them with no empathy in her eyes - it was no doubt that she was surely a psychopath. “See, I’m always a woman of my word. If you would have followed my orders, everything would have been fine.”

Then, she kneeled next to Lina and traced her long fingers along her ex-colleague’s unconscious face. “But don’t worry honey, we have all the time in the world now, as you and your dear little friends are mine. Pity though that your brother couldn’t join the party.”

The two bodyguards had been remaining silent at their places, watching closely what their boss was doing. They were holding the syringes and when Katherine stood up, she took them and without any hesitation, injected all her victims lying on the cold concrete floor.

“This should keep them calm for a while, so I have time to do my research before I start properly.”

When they left the cell, a cruel laughter echoed in the corridors.


	4. Mission impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Half of their band missing, Flake and Schneider have to act somehow.

~***~

_Be careful to whom you introduce yourself._

_Behind the masks you can find the divergent shades of human beings:_

_quite often, not the brightest ones._

~***~

_A tequila shot in his hand Richard stepped into the place he had never been before. It was a huge house - almost like a mansion - owned by some colleague of Lina’s Richard had never met._

_“You should come brother it will be fun!” Lina had insisted on her brother a day before so here he was: feeling like a lost kid on his first day in a new school. Surrounded by unknown people who, Richard was convinced, were judging him from head to toe right after he had stepped in._

_Sighing heavily and looking around, Richard felt more awkward than performing to thousands of people. He wasn’t sure was it just his own mind doing tricks or was everybody’s curious gazes focused on him: after all, he was most probably the most famous person in the room._

_Richard kept going and just nodded to the unknown people around him who turned to their friends, whispering and giggling **. How freaking great.** **Maybe I should have never come here in the first place…** he thought by himself when he proceeded._

_While it was getting awkward enough, Richard spotted his sister in the corner talking with someone unknown to him. The only thing Richard could see from the distance was that the woman had flamingly red hair._

_Lina waved and shouted over the loud music: “Hey Reeshie, come, join us!”_

_As her usual self, Lina was happy and gave Richard a hug as he came closer, careful not to spill the small glass in his hand. The hug made him relax somewhat, but the friendly gesture still wasn’t able to wash away the uncomfortable knot in the bottom of Richard’s belly._

_With a smile, Lina introduced the red-headed woman beside them. ''Reesh, meet Katherine, Katherine, this is my brother Richard.'' Anyone in the room could tell that Lina was proud of her brother. She always smiled brightly when her dear Richard was around - something that was rare in other situations._

_Richard shook Katherine’s hand. She smiled and took the hand in hers. The red-haired woman seemed to inspect Richard, her eyes looking at his features. That if anything made Richard more uneasy, if it was even possible anymore._

_“Umm, well so, Katherine or was that your name?” Richard asked and backed up a little when the curious woman seemed to be too much on his skin already._

_“Yes, that’s absolutely correct,” Katherine spoke the first time. She tilted her head and licked her lips slyly. “It’s my eyes that make you feel unpleasant, isn’t it?”_

_Richard’s mouth opened wide. He didn’t understand now what the unknown woman was talking about. “W-what do you mean?”_

_Katherine pointed at her eyes and grinned - the smile wasn’t genuine though, not reaching her eyes. “Heterochromia iridum. It’s a rare mutation. Schön, isn’t it?”_

_Now when Richard looked more carefully, he noticed that the woman had different colored eyes. Even though it was fascinating, it also made her look even eerier. An inner voice was nagging to Richard that he should stay away from this woman - but he was too polite to dump her immediately._

_“Umm, ok, cool,” he answered and turned to look around. Lina had disappeared and it made Richard even more alarmed than he was already. “Listen, it was nice to meet you and all, but I guess I should go n—”_

_To Richard’s horror, he was interrupted when the woman - who he had met like a minute ago – already grasped him from his chin and scrutinized him, like a lab rat. “You and Lina sure are… interesting creatures. I’ve never seen anything like you. Pure beauty of natural selection.”_

_Richard froze to his place and tried to mumble something witty back: “O-okay lady, I don’t know what you are up to, but… if you are trying to hook up with me, I’m terribly sorry to say that… I’m… I’m not interested…”_

_The woman didn't seem to hear him. Either that or she straight up ignored him as she continued picking him apart with her eyes only._

_Richard started to slowly back away, but Katherine didn't seem to get the hint. ''Black isn't your natural hair color, am I correct?''_

_''Umm... no...?''_

_''So, I'll assume you're blonde, like your sister.'' She continued to inspect him like some sort of dog and then smiled, this time it may have reached her eyes, but that almost made it worse. She was downright scary. ''Hmm... all I could say is that you and your sister surely have won the genetic lottery.''_

**_What the hell is going on here…_ ** _Richard thought. **And how can I get out of this?** “Okay, seriously, I don’t know what kind of punch they have served here, but –”_

_“You know my dear little Richard that I would kill to get my hands to your genes,” Katherine cooed, and Richard felt how all the hair stood up on the back of his neck. “I am a scientist after all, so I can’t help it.” She lowered her voice and only inches away from Richard’s face, stated: “When I see an interesting research opportunity, you should know that I’m doing all I can to get it into my hands.”_

_Then, she let out a burst of laughter so cruel that Richard was sure that this woman must be a total lunatic. Even the people around them started giving them questioning looks._

_To Richard’s luck though, Lina appeared out of nowhere, a phone pressed tightly to her ear. It seemed to be a bit urgent, judging by the tone of her voice and the look on her face._

_After hanging up, she pulled her brother aside, much to his relief. "Reesh I need your help. I didn’t plan on leaving now so I’ve been drinking - enough not being able to drive. Can you give me a lift?"_

_Richard quickly glanced at the tequila shot he hadn’t even touched because he had gotten so confused for the weird encounter with Katherine. He shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”_

_Then, without explaining further, Richard handed the shot to Katherine and said: “Tschüss, it was very… interesting to meet you.”_

_Without looking at his back, Richard grasped his sister from her arm and guided her away from the crowd._

_When they were out, the fresh autumn air managed to clear Richard’s messy mind enough so he could finally speak. “Who the hell was that?” he asked at the same time while he lighted up a cigarette in his shaking fingers._

_Lina dug out a cigarette as well. “She’s Katherine, my colleague from the hospital. She and her team are working on a new research project about human genetics.” She glanced at the sky, sucking in the bitter smoke. “And yeah, she may seem a bit weird at first, but I assure y—”_

_“I have a feeling that you should stay as far as you can from her,” Richard stated with a genuinely concerned look not letting his sister finish the sentence even._

~***~

”The number you tried to call can’t be reached, please try again later…”

Flake sighed and put the phone away. _Damn you Till, what is it now?_ He knew his friend very well that he wasn’t fond of phones, but this was getting unusually weird when Flake couldn’t have reached him the whole day - or even getting any kind of message saying: "fuck off, I want to be alone now." Even that would have done it to soothe Flake's nerves down.

A cat jumped to the keyboardist’s lap - Furball, his dear companion. “Tell me, am I just overreacting or what?” he talked to his pet. “Should I go to see his place? What if he’s just isolated to his country home again? Maybe he’ll laugh his ass off when I suddenly appear and think he had been kidnapped or something...”

Furball looked at his owner with wide eyes and let out a tiny meow.

Flake snorted. “What is that supposed to mean?”

The cat was stubborn and didn’t drop the gaze from his owner.

“Okay, maybe I’ll call Schneider, just in case… maybe he knows something.”

Flake raised his phone back up to his ear this time the signals going towards Schneider. It took a few short rings before the drummer picked up. It sounded he had been taking a nap and had been awoken by the ringtone.

''Y… eah?'' a weary voice from the other side of the phone muttered.

Flake could almost imagine how his friend was rubbing his face at the moment, trying to wake up. ''I can't get a hold of Till, and it's been all day. Have you heard anything from him?''

''Hello, to you too Flake. Nice to hear from you,'' Schneider snorted sarcastically. _Straight to the point, no small talk. It’s so like him._ ''Yeah no, I haven't spoken to him for a while. The last thing I know was that he was going to Richard’s house to discuss music. Maybe they got stuck.”

Schneider let out a faint yawn, pulling the phone away from his mouth as not to do it in what would technically be straight in Flake’s ear. ''Have you tried calling Reesh?''

”No, I haven’t,” Flake replied and rubbed his chin as it could magically help in this situation. “Actually, I can’t even recall when I have heard about him the last time.”

Schneider yawned again on the other side of the phone. “Should you try that first before you panic?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay,” Schneider said. “I’ll try to wake up now and you call Reesh, okay? And please, inform me. I’m sure they have just got stuck with music, no need to worry. We are not supposed to be their babysitters after all.”

“T… thanks, I guess.” Flake was still worried but talking with somebody helped at least a tiny bit to soothe his anxiety. “Talk to you soon, mate.”

“Bye,” Schneider simply stated nonchalantly and hung up.

Then, Flake dialed another number and waited.

Richard didn't answer either. He hoped that the two of them had gotten lost in the music and that there was no real worry - but something seemed to gnaw on his nerves, telling him something was off.

When after three tries Richard still didn't answer Flake decided that he needed to check their houses. If someone, Richard tended to be close to his phones all the time - maybe that’s why Flake was so unnerved.

The keyboardist sent a text over to Schneider, writing that he was going to pick him up in a few minutes as they went to Richard's house.

Then Flake proceeded to place his cat gently beside him on the sofa, getting up and gathering the things he needed before he left the house.

Flake sighed and looked at his confused cat. “I’m sorry I have to go, but our friends need me. Keep your paws crossed for us, okay?”

The cat stretched and rolled himself into a small fluffy ball. At that moment, Flake was sure he had been born as a wrong species. _Human problems don’t occur to you, lucky bastard._

~***~

It took longer to get to Schneider than he'd anticipated, but Flake hadn't considered that he was going out during the worst rush hour. The drummer was already waiting for him outside, standing by the curb. As he got in, Flake nodded a silent greeting and started driving again.

As they neared Richard's neighborhood, the knot in Flake’s stomach grew. He had a bad feeling about all of this.

They pulled up to the house and spotted both Till’s and Lina’s car on the driveway. Flake parked by the curb. They were probably all here, and it wouldn't have surprised Flake if they all had gotten drunk and were now snoring on the couch.

Schneider's jaw dropped. "What the hell? What is this gathering here?"

"Don’t ask me," Flake mumbled and took the keys of the car into his hand.

They rang the doorbell, but to no surprise, no one answered. The whole neighborhood was eerily silent - like the time had stopped.

"Great, how are we gonna get in now?" Flake was annoyed at the whole situation. He felt like he didn't have any control over it now.

Before he could start pouting properly though, Schneider was already busy with the door. "Do you happen to have a screwdriver in your car?"

Flake raised an eyebrow. "Yes, why?"

"Just get it," Schneider ordered and scrutinized the door, clearly planning his next move.

When Flake handed the screwdriver to the drummer, he immediately started to remove the small glass panel of the door.

Now the keyboardist realized what his friend was up to. "No fucking way…” he said and shook his head. “We are not gonna brake into his house, for Christ’s sake."

Schneider stopped for a second what he was doing and turned to his bandmate. “If you have any better ideas now it’s the last chance to tell them.”

Ignoring the mocking tone of the words, Flake dug his phone out of his pocket. "M-maybe I could still try to reach him, maybe Reesh just had a long night and is still asleep…”

Schneider smirked. "Relax, I used to work in my dad's renovation company, so I assure you it's not gonna leave a scratch to the diva's door." Then, his smile faded. "Besides, this is the only way we can have at least some form of a clue what the hell is going on in here." The drummer turned to Flake and looked serious when he said: "We all know that Reesh is married to his phone and now when he hasn't answered I think we should be concerned. It can be that he has been just drunk or something, but we can't be sure."

"Okay, whatever," Flake answered meekly and looked around suspiciously.

When Schneider got the glass out of the door, he gestured Flake to go through the narrow hole. "You first."

Flake sighed, visibly annoyed. He wasn't overly keen on breaking and entering his friend’s house in the middle of the day, even less so to be the first one in. Either way, the lanky keyboardist squeezed his way through the narrow hole, and when on the other side, unlocked the door. ''There. And put the glass back first, you MacGyver.''

Tapping impatiently with his foot Flake watched as their drummer put the glass back and now walked inside too. The house was quiet, eerily so. The knot continued to grow in their stomachs - this couldn't be good.

As Schneider entered the living room, he came to an abrupt halt, almost making Flake crash into him. Just as the keyboardist was about to scold him for stopping in the middle of the doorway, he too spotted the mess inside.

_Shit._

"What the... what where's Reesh, what is this?" Schneider mumbled and rubbed his eyes. _This can't be real..._

Flake kneeled and touched the white powder scattered all around the floor. "Okay, this is not good. Not at all. I thought he was clean already..."

"But wait a minute..." Schneider came next to Flake. "Was his sister's car outside as well?"

"Yup, it's Lina's car. You remember the girl who was always either high or drunk at our shows." Flake had never trusted the woman even though how many times Richard had assured that his sister wanted only good for them all.

Schneider yelled: "Hellooo, anyone here? Reesh? Till?" But no answer - the whole house was dead.

Schneider ran a hand through his hair and sighed. This only seemed to confirm their bad gut feeling. _Not Till, Reesh or his sister could be seen, and together with this cocktail of drugs on the table..._ Schneider dared not finish that thought.

Just to make sure, Flake took a trip around the house to see that it was indeed empty. The only thing he found was Richard's phone, which he always carried with him. That proved that their guitarist was in real trouble.

Flake returned to the living room where Schneider was still standing, a concerned look on his face. The keyboardist held up the phone to show it.

Schneider only replied with a short ''Scheiße” - this was indeed getting only worse. ''Now what?''

"I don't know," Flake said - he felt desperate, yet he was way too stubborn to surrender. "Do you have any ideas?"

Like trying to get his brain to work properly, Schneider rubbed his forehead. _Think Christoph, think._ Then, he snapped his fingers. "Hey, have you ever visited Till's secret country home?"

Flake raised an eyebrow. "Yes, why?"

"So, it's not after all so _secret_ ," Schneider said and smirked. "Maybe we should go there and have a look. Who knows if he's just skin dipping there and this all is going to be over soon.” The drummer turned to Flake who didn't look convinced. "Or do you have any better ideas?"

"To be honest, not really." Flake simply shrugged and looked defeated. "But if Till happens to be there, don't tell him I revealed his secret spot to you."

Schneider leaned closer to his fellow bandmate and said: "My lips are sealed. Let's go."

When they got out and back to their car, they didn't notice that a black car was watching their movements carefully just behind the corner.

A bald guy, dressed in black, placed a phone to his ear after the duo got into their car and started driving.

They weren’t alone in this.

~***~

It was a good thirty minutes to Till's ''secret'' cabin and pairing that with having to get out of Berlin at rush hour, it took even longer. Flake and Schneider sat in silence staring out at the chaos aka Berlin traffic.

As they started to ease out of the large city, Schneider couldn’t help it but to out his thoughts. ''If they aren't at Till's... we might have to check the hospital...'' He hated it, and the knot in his stomach seemed to jump around as he uttered the words. Inside, Schneider was scared shitless that all of them - Till, Richard, and his sister - had ended up there. The drugs plus the absence of all of the three seemed to be pointing towards something terrifying.

It was difficult to even comprehend what could have happened. Overdose? But why? Yes, Schneider knew how Richard had been an addict back in the days, but the guitarist had assured that he was out of that junk already, now doing his best to get his sister out of it who had been too deep in the world of illegal substances.

But what Schneider didn’t know was that it wasn’t that simple. It was too late for the Kruspe siblings to pull themselves out from the hell they had dragged each other into.

“That came to my mind as well,” Flake interrupted Schneider’s thoughts and gulped audibly. “Maybe… maybe Richard hasn’t told us everything, I’m afraid.”

“Do you trust him?” Schneider asked straightforwardly. “Do you trust what he said? That he isn’t into drugs anymore?”

“Well,” Flake started and tried his best to concentrate on the busy road, “I have a feeling that he hasn’t been completely honest to us. It’s not that I don’t like him or anything but… after all that he’s been going through I can’t believe he would be suddenly snapped out of it all.”

Turning to look out of the window with blank eyes, Schneider added: “I agree with you. But the only thing we can do is to support him, no matter what.”

“But I know there’s something more in this… like one of the reasons for this mess might be…”

Schneider turned back to look at the keyboardist. “Yeah, what?”

“Paul,” Flake simply stated and focused on the road. “He… he has told me something I shouldn’t perhaps tell you.”

Now, Schneider’s curiosity was ignited.

Flake was at this point thinking about one special infamous show, during the _Mutter_ era. It had been a royal fucking mess, not only because the band had been almost breaking up, but because Richard had been out of this world high and Paul had seemed to have been depressed - they were on either side of the scale. On top of that, Till had been kissed by Richard, and if that hadn’t confused them all, his statements did. No one knew what Richard had been taking that night, but he had acted like he was a _god_ \- truly unnerving.

To everyone’s surprise, Richard had nailed his guitar parts better than ever then though, despite being elsewhere in his mind. Paul had come to Flake later asking for advice. Not being able to properly give some, Flake had at least lent his ears to Paul who had confessed his secret love eventually. The guitarist had been utterly ashamed at first, but when he had been able to start it had been impossible to stop - Paul had told Flake literally _everything_ \- and that was currently swimming through Flake’s already messy mind.

But by now, Schneider was truly interested. ''What did he tell you?''

Flake opened his mouth, about to say something - he tried his best to estimate how much he could tell the drummer. After all, he didn’t want to betray Paul, his old friend, but on the other hand, personal information might be useful in solving this puzzle.

“Well, he to--” Flake started, but then he had to hit the brake pedal quickly as the traffic had suddenly stopped - the car in front of them was way closer than they had thought.

“SHIT!” they both exclaimed intuitively but calmed down in a second when there wasn’t any danger - just a huge line. The actual crash that had caused the hiatus was miles ahead.

So, they were now stuck here in the traffic. To Flake’s horror it meant that they had all the time in the world with Schneider to talk about the intimate stuff. “Great, how freaking great…” Flake hissed behind his gritted teeth.

“So, what were you about to say?” Schneider cooed, not even bothering to hide his curiosity anymore.

Flake sighed and took his hands out of the steering wheel. “Ok, there was maybe… something between Reesh and Paul back in the days, but I don’t know what the case is at the moment. It’s not my business after all. You should ask him if you want detailed info about them.”

Letting out a sarcastic laugh, Schneider turned his head to look out of the window again. “I knew it…” he mumbled by himself. “I was right then. Right from the start.”

Flake looked at Schneider, a tad confused. “You knew?” he asked, the confusion showing more in his voice than in his face.

''Well... I didn't _know_ per se. There happened to be obvious hints at times though.''

Flake nodded. It was true, they hadn't been too discreet - at least not Paul. Who knows what Richard’s thoughts about the matter were? Did Richard have the same feelings for Paul?

What a puzzle to solve.

''But uh... How on earth does Paul's feelings for Reesh have anything to do with this? I don't get it'' It was Schneider’s turn to look confused. Trying to piece together the pieces in his mind wasn't working now.

“I dunno, it was just a suggestion,” Flake answered. “I just try to think about everything that could be the cause as I have no idea otherwise. I’m as confused as you in this one. Even though I have known Paul for years, his relationship with Reesh has remained a mystery to me.”

The traffic was slowly proceeding, and the two men remained silent, deep in their own minds. A mindless pop hit came from the radio and Flake had to turn it off - it wasn’t helping at all.

Schneider sighed. “At the moment I just wish that our speculations are wrong, and this is some kind of sick joke and we’ll find them all at Till’s cottage.” Then, he realized something. “By the way, have you called Paul? Where is he?”

“Well, that didn’t come to my mind as we were before talking with only Till that today we were supposed to brainstorm the new album. Can you call him?” Flake asked when Schneider was already digging up his phone.

Schneider dialed the number and let the phone ring - once again, no answer.

“Oh crap,” the drummer stated and rubbed the nape of his neck. A pressure of distress was taking its grip from him even though he had managed quite well with the confusing day this far.

“Do you think there might be a connection?” Flake asked.

“I have no clue anymore,” Schneider replied. “It’s unlikely but… I can’t help but think there’s a bizarre connection between their disappearance.”

Flake nodded. It all seemed too connected for it not to be: half of the band not answering their phones. And while Till didn't often answer, the other two surely should have had.

''So, now what?'' Flake sighed, feeling irritation and worry rise within him.

''Well...'' Schneider thought for a bit. ''Didn't Reesh's sister’s car stand outside his house? Do you have her number?''

Flake shook his head. ''I'm sorry but I never cared enough about her to get that. Something about her makes me uneasy.''

Schneider nodded. He knew exactly what Flake meant. She was in a league of her own, and he couldn't see what Richard saw in her. Each time when Schneider had met Lina, she had either been drunk or high - in many cases, both. Apparently, she was a nurse, but Schneider would rather not been taken care of her.

“I have a feeling that this is going nowhere… like, how can we even know where to start?” Schneider bit his lower lip, trying hard to think. “Should we just wait here while they might be in danger? I… I just can’t stand this.” He was a man who was not used to be this helpless - Schneider was cheerful and the most positive one of them along with Paul, but now even he was out of ideas.

When the drummer had stopped speaking, his phone rang. They both froze for a second, like in a horror movie when a serial killer called its victims.

“Who… who could it be?” Flake stuttered and didn’t realize that the traffic was proceeding again - only a car honking behind them awoke him from his thoughts and he started driving again. “Answer it!”

Exaggeratedly slowly, Schneider took the phone and checked who could it be. “It’s Ollie,” he said and let out a burst of nervous laughter.

Schneider pressed the phone to his ear. ''Hey Ollie, what’s up?'' he answered and tried to hide the concern in his voice.

''Where are you?” the annoyed bassist asked, not bothering to greet even his bandmate. “I tried to go to your house to get my bass _like you promised I could today_ and you are not opening the freaking door!''

''Ah, Scheiße! Sorry, I'm with Flake. We're kinda looking for the other half of our band.'' Schneider let out that nervous burst of laughter again, signaling that something was wrong.

The traffic started moving as it should again and they continued driving towards Till's cabin.

''What's wrong?'' Ollie seemed to pick up on his friend’s nervous energy through the phone.

''Well...'' Schneider stalled a bit, trying to form the sentences properly. ''First Till didn't answer his phone, but then I thought he was at Reesh's and then Reesh didn't answer so we went there and the house was a goddamn mess and now we've concluded that Paul won't pick up either so we're on our way to T- uh a place they might be, and honestly we don't know if we don’t find them what to do.''

A silence fell on them. “Umm, Ollie, are you still there?” Schneider asked awkwardly - he thought the bassist had hung up.

“That sure sounds… odd,” Ollie said and tried to comprehend all of this he had just heard. “But what is that place where you are going now? What if I follow you there?”

“Umm, we are--” Schneider started but when Flake next to him was shaking his head, signaling that they shouldn’t reveal anything, not even to their bandmate, he cleared his throat. “Sorry, but I can’t tell you.”

“I… I don’t know even what to say now.” Ollie would have liked to help, but he felt like he had been abandoned from this “mission” by his bandmates. “Is there anything I could do?”

Schneider remained silent for a while and burst out without even noticing it: “Umm, just in case, could you ask from some hospitals… you know, we are not assuming anything yet, but if you’d like to help.”

“Okay, I’m on it,” Ollie stated. “I’ll inform you if I find something.”

When the call ended, Schneider felt like he could sink into the seat. “Oh man, now he’s into this as well, but what else could we do…”

“I have a feeling that this is something much bigger than we could even imagine,” Flake stated, trying to hide his anxiety. “Maybe it’s better that we stick now together.” _In case there’s a danger,_ the keyboardist almost added out loud.

When there was a chance, Flake drove away from the motorway to a smaller road - it would save time now.

When they finally arrived at the cabin, Schneider didn't know whether to let out a sigh of relief or hold his breath in anticipation. They both were quickly out of the car as soon as it had stopped, and the fact that there weren’t any other cars outside made Schneider nervous all over again. This place wasn't exactly accessible by foot.

They both stepped up on the porch, and not bothering to knock, Flake went straight to the eaves where he knew Till hid the spare key.

After unlocking the door, they both went inside. The cabin wasn't big, more like one big room with kitchen, living room and a kitchen table all in one. Schneider waited behind by the door as Flake walked around, just to make sure that no one was truly there. But just as Richard's house, the cabin was completely empty.

Then Schneider's phone went off. Ollie was calling again. ''Hello? Did you find anything?''

“I uh...” Ollie panted from the other side of the phone. “I… I found Richard...''


	5. When the fun begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! This chapter contains smut along with some torture scenes, so be prepared if you want to proceed reading.

_The afterparty: subtle touches, meaningful looks. Till tried to act like he was busy sipping his beer, but his mind, as well as his eyes, were totally concentrating on one particular man._

_The man, who was both his colleague, but also, his affair._

_Till and his bandmate were both drunk enough already, so the barriers had been dropped. From the other side of the room, Richard flashed the sweetest smile possible. Till was sure he was going to melt soon to his place._

_Richard passed him and whispered with a husky voice: “My room. Tonight. Be sure to be there.”_

_Till gulped: excitement was ignited inside him._ **_You bet I will be there, dear._ **

_Later in the evening when Till later arrived at Richard’s door he gave it a gentle knock, anticipation stirring in his stomach._

_Richard opened the door, only wearing black jeans and_ **that** _choker._

**_Shit, isn’t he hot? He should wear a warning._ **

_Without even thinking further, Till pushed his way into the room all while passionately connecting his lips to Richard’s. It felt like fireworks, all through his body. He'd_ **yearned** _for this - for a way too long time._

_There was raw lust between the two of them. They couldn’t tell anybody about their affair. After all, it was a bit questionable to get regularly laid with your colleague so this was their own little secret, hidden in various hotel rooms. Anyone could understand that while touring and being busy, of course, the artists needed their cooling down._

_This was just their way of letting the steam come out - or something else?_

“ _You fucking little bastard,” Till breathed to Richard’s ear, “you put on that choker on purpose, didn’t you?” The singer was sure he could explode in his pants for the sight only so he had a difficult time keeping himself still._

_Richard put a hand on Till’s cheek, stroking his rough skin softly and smirked. “Maybe, maybe not.”_

“ _What’s that supposed to mean?” Till asked and let out a nervous chuckle._

_Without explaining anything further, Richard dragged Till back to his lips, more interested in exploring the singer’s mouth than answering questions now._

_Till melted at the other man’s touch. It just felt so_ **good** \- _so insanely good. He’d probably burn in hell because of this, but Till didn’t care. All he cared about now was Richard - the man who was able to send the singer into the seventh heaven with his presence only._

_And if that was his sin, Till was more than happy to accept it._

_With languid movements, Richard pushed Till towards the foot of the bed until the singer’s knees met the mattress and had to sit down. At this, Richard took his chance and straddled Till’s thighs, a calloused hand sneaking down in between them and working on getting Till’s pants open. All the time they were still passionately kissing._

_They parted and Richard looked straight at Till’s wide eyes. The singer’s dark hair was a mess - he looked so vulnerable, just absolutely adorable. “Do you trust me?” Richard breathed right next to Till’s ear and nibbed it with his front teeth._

_Eyes rolling back, Till merely managed to answer: “Y-yes, of course, w-why?”_

_“Just wanted to make sure,” the guitarist answered and slid his hand inside Till’s open pants. “It’s our little secret, right?” Richard let out a dry chuckle. “This is none of the other guys’ business. Just me and you.”_

_Till hummed, knowing he wasn't going to tell anyone. He would be as much compromised as his lover and neither of them needed that._

_When Richard's hand finally found what it was looking for Till let out a content sigh. It felt like heaven - or not only meant, it_ **_was_ ** _heaven. The guitarist was slowly stroking him, almost teasingly so. He then captured Till's lips in another kiss, craving for the contact._

_While Richard nibbled the lower lip, at the same time stroking gently Till’s most private parts, the singer was sure he was close to the edge even though they had just started. He loved how Richard was so delicate with his teasing, yet the same time so sure what he wanted - and Till was more than happy to follow. Hell, he could follow this man into a cave of hungry wolves if needed._

_But in the back of his mind, a nagging voice told Till that this was wrong - so horribly wrong: fucking his colleague in secret. He - or more precisely, they - didn’t have a choice though: Till was desperately lonely, horny and most of all, madly in love - for a wrong person._

_Till’s train of thought was interrupted though when Richard left his lap and pulled the singer’s pants down at the same time sitting down in front of him. Looking up at the other man with feigned innocence Richard wrapped his lips around his lover. Painted nails scratched lightly down Till's inner thighs making him shiver from lust and excitement. Richard knew what he was doing, and Till had to admit that_ **_god_ ** _, was he doing it well._

_Pleased by the reaction, Richard slid Till further into his mouth almost taking the full lenght into his throat - but not yet. Richard hummed around Till, knowing the bigger man’s weaknesses. This was definitely one of them._

_Richard raised a finger and smirked slyly. “Not too much, too soon,” he teased, acting like he was sulking. “Have to practice some patience, honey.”_

_“Gott im Himmel, how can you be so fucking perfect at… this,” Till burst out while he tried to catch his breath. “You are fucking illegal…”_

_“I’ve heard that before as well, but thank you anyway.”_

_Till panted still - he wanted to linger at this moment forever. One thing bothered him though. “Reesh, c-can I…” he started and gulped audibly, “ask you something?”_

_Concerned, Richard came back up and sat on Till’s lap. He cupped the singer’s cheeks. “Yes, anything.”_

_“Do you... do you love me or am I just… just another fuck for you? Like a groupie?”_

_''Till, I...'' Richard took a deep breath, looking into Till's eyes. They were both far from sober which might have been the reason for this question to arise. But then again, it was also the reason for them getting this intimate right now._

_''Till, I honestly don’t know… You mean the world to me, but I don't know about this.'' He rested his forehead against Till's craving for his body contact. ''But I’d ask you the same question: do you love me or is this merely for fun?'' He looked right into Till's eyes, trying to read the man._

_“Honestly, enough of bullshit,” Till said and bit his lower lip, “I asked you first.”_

_Richard’s eyes opened wide and he backed up - his gaze still fixed on Till’s. “Look, I don’t know even how to love myself, so I’m terribly sorry if I can’t be sure yet can I give anything that strong back to you.” He gulped audibly. “But I care about you deeply. I honestly do.”_

_“What about Paul then?” Till asked._

_A shadow flashed on Richard’s gorgeous features when he heard the name. “W-why are you asking?”_

_Till didn’t meet Richard’s eyes. “I… I just have a feeling that you are so close together that I don’t want to interrupt you guys a--”_

_But he was stopped when Richard’s lips clashed towards his again._

_When Richard pulled back, he looked into Till's eyes again. ''Will you just stop talking? Let me please you and let off your steam. Okay?''_

_He pushed Till back into lying position on the bed hovering over him. The guitarist’s arms were on either side of Till’s head when Richard asked: ''Will you just relax, for once in your life?'' On purpose, he kissed Till again, making sure to keep the singer distracted._

_When Richard proceeded and started peppering kisses on his neck, Till was sure he was done - the residuals of what was left from rational thinking finally vanished. He closed his eyes and arched his head back, giving free access to Richard._

_A free access to do anything he wanted tonight - Till couldn’t simply say no._

_Richard moved lower and lower - in the end, taking Till’s rockhard member ruthlessly into his mouth._

_“Holy motherfucker...” Till muttered._

_His lover’s cursing ignited Richard’s lust even more if it was even possible. He didn’t feel like waiting any longer as he desperately needed to be released himself as well._

_Richard got back up and quickly pulled off what remained of his clothing. At the same time he flashed a sly smirk at Till who had lost his ability to speak - or basically the ability to do anything anymore._

_Trying to be as fast as he could, Richard climbed back onto Till's lap. He guided Till inside of himself with them both moaning like wild boars. Richard had been craving this for weeks, and holy hell was he happy they finally had time. He hadn’t prepared himself for the intrusion, merely for the fact that he loved feeling the sting and the stretch when Till entered._

_“You are mine as I am yours,” Richard whispered with a husky voice and positioned himself better so Till had better access. He gave a tiny peck on the other man’s forehead and let out an animalistic gasp that echoed in the room. What Till had learned during their secret little affair was that Richard was loud - and not afraid to hide it anyhow._

_“Fuck yesss,” Richard hissed behind gritted teeth, miles away from this world already. “You are doing good, Liebling, carry on, fffffuck…”_

_Not able to say anything aloud, the only thing Till could do was try different positions and see what kind of reaction they would ignite from Richard._

_But though enjoying himself fully, there still was an annoyingly tickling feeling inside the singer’s mind: what were they doing? And why they had to do this?_

_And worst of all: what might happen if the others of the band would get to know about their hidden little hotel nights?_

_Till remembered Paul’s broken eyes when Richard had shouted at him before that one particular concert when the lead guitarist had acted like he was a freaking god._

_Swallowing hard his quilt and pain, Till ignored his emotional state and kept going on. The consequences had to be paid at some point, but now it wasn’t the time._

~***~

After a good few hours spent in a stupor, created by Katherine’s drug tests, the trio woke up again. Paul was first, trying to get his limbs in order and failing miserably. He was just starting to panic as Till woke up.

The singer knew immediately his body wasn’t fully functioning and gave no honest attempt to move. He hummed at Paul though, trying to form a few words. "C-calm down," he managed to push out of his nearly paralyzed body.

It seemed like it took a while for Paul to register the slightly slurred words, but then they sank in and he did as the singer said, knowing his attempts at moving was futile.

Beside them, Lina was still out cold. Unbeknownst to the trio in the cell, she'd been injected with another type of drug than Till and Paul. At the moment she looked pale and frail, a light sheen of sweat upon her face. Not that the boys could do anything either way.

Stars were dancing in front of Paul’s eyes - for a moment, he had to concentrate on where the hell he was and what was going on.

“T-Till is that you…” Paul muttered with a raspy voice. His mouth was completely dry, as his whole body. He would have killed for a glass of water. “Are we… are we going to die now?” He coughed a couple of times, holding his stomach. Everywhere, it ached.

Till managed to gather a tiny bit of strength and crawled next to his bandmate. He squeezed Paul’s shoulder, trying to be reassuring, but failing miserably as his own hand was shaking like his whole torso. “I-I…,” he said, “I’m here. I t-told you to calm down, everything is alright, soon we will be home.” He didn’t believe his own words though.

The door of the cell opened and one of the security guys who had kidnapped them before stepped in. He had a tray in his hand. “Eat,” he simply commanded. 

Till glanced at the tray: it had something mushy and grey on it. It looked totally disgusting, but he was starving so there wasn’t a choice but to eat the so-called food.

“What… what will happen to us next?” Paul tried to ask, but the henchman left as quickly as he had arrived.

They were once again left in the cell along with the mushy grey ''food'', no answers at all. Paul reluctantly tried it, but immediately spat it out again. The horrifying taste made him almost throw up. ''That's d-disgusting!'' he managed to squeeze out, the sedative wearing off more and more at this point. 

Till on the other hand, was eating the mush without any problem. It wasn't that he thought it tasted good - more that it was almost tasteless, and that he needed it to survive. If they got a chance to escape, they all needed to be strong enough. Only then did Till notice something was off. Lina wasn't awake yet…

Stopping to eat the questioning delicacy, Till moved next to Lina. The woman looked more pallid than usual, so he had to make sure she was breathing at least. The singer placed his bear palm on the woman’s forehead, shivering a bit on the fact how cold it was.

Paul also noticed the other man’s concern. “Is she…” He gulped. “...alive?”

Moving his hand on Lina’s wrist and squeezing it gently, Till let out a sigh of relief. “At least I can find a pulse. Merely, but it’s there.”

“I can only wonder what she’s been going through,” Paul said and looked at the dull grey wall with blank eyes. “Can only wonder what they both have been going through... “ Tears started to burn his eyes. “If I… if there could have been anything I could have done, I swear I would have helped them…”

Till shook his head. “As we promised earlier no accusations. We’ll stick together and stay strong to go this through. The bitch and her servants are not gonna separate us, okay?” He looked at Paul like a begging puppy dog. “Are you with me?”

Paul moved his gaze back to the tray. “I… I don’t know what I should say… m-maybe there’s too many to think about right now… too much things I don’t understand.”

“What do you mean?” Till asked and sat next to Paul. The sedative’s effect was almost off and he was coming back to his senses - getting curious again. “What do you mean by that?”

“What were you guys doing behind my back?” Paul asked while his piercing eyes were on Till’s now. “What is there you haven’t told me?” Without moving his fiery gaze, he added: “Can only wonder if this whole mess was your fault somehow…”

Till threw his hands in the air. “Hey, stop it right there, right now, we… we shouldn’t start this here.”

Interrupting their conversation, a red-haired woman and a few men appeared by the door, opening it. Before the boys had time to even react, they were handcuffed and soon dragged down a gray corridor. At the end of it was a white room they entered, the sterile feeling overwhelming. Two metal tables were waiting for them, and the henchmen wasted no time and strapped their two victims to them, thick leather straps keeping them from any movement. 

Even though he was unable to speak Paul managed to give Till a panicked look, this situation now scaring him more than ever. He was still questioning the relation between Till and Richard, but he still couldn't help clinging to his friend for some kind of stability in this mess. Still... Till did seem to have caused some of this. _Ugh_.

”Ah, how much I have waited for this moment! My warmest welcome,” a cruel female voice stated, her words echoing in the sterile room. 

Katherine revealed herself from the shadows and scrutinized her two guinea pigs. ”How pretty you two look,” she said and ran a finger across Till’s face, pleased making him shiver.”Just like I ordered... we’re gonna have fun tonight!” 

Then, she moved to Paul and tilted her head. ”It’s the first time I see you not shouting or trying to hit me or my guards. What progress, you are slowly starting to learn to obey me...” 

Unexpectedly, Paul spat on the woman’s face and hissed: ”Dream on, you lunatic bitch! We’re never going to go your way.” 

Surprised, Katherine wiped the wet spot on her cheek. ”Very well. We’ll see about that.” She continued, now a smirk on her face: ''You see Paul, I have the answer to the question you've been laying sleepless over. Work with me, and I'll let you have it.'' She walked out of sight from the two men, over to a surgical table full of questionable stuff. 

Unbeknownst to Till and Paul, Katherine was about to collect some things from them - something to stole their intimacy once and for all; something to allow her to try her new drug on their genes in a safe setting. She loved studying genetics and would be sure to take some for her own personal fun. The perfect genes didn't seem impossible to create - at least for a woman whose psychopathy made her believe she was next to god. 

Katherine picked up a pair of pliers, a sadistic grin on her face. She went up to Paul, looking over him and trying to decide where to start. ''Now, you keep quiet, I'll share with you what Till has done to _poor_ Richard.''

From head to toe, Paul started to shiver. ”What, what are you going to... going to do with... those?” 

”Stay the hell out of him,” Till tried to command the psychopath, not believing his shaking voice even himself though. 

Katherine moved her gaze to her other victim. ”Or what? Are you willing to tell your _dirty little secret_ yourself before I’ll extract a tooth from your dear little friend to my collection, huh?”

Stunned at the threat, Till couldn’t say anything back. _She'd... actually do something like that?_

Paul's eyes were flicking back and forth between the woman and Till. The woman was out of her goddamn mind, but she hadn't lied about anything... yet. Till? _Fuck_ , Till was one of Paul’s best friends yet here they were the singer hiding crucial information from him. He hated this fucking situation, it was messing with his head. 

''T-Till.. What is she talking about?'' Paul stammered.

The silence was so intense one could almost hear the sound of imaginative crickets. ”Very well,” Katherine started and to Paul’s tiny relief, stepped away from him, ”I can help you in this, Tillie, if you can’t open your mouth yourself.” 

”Don’t call me with that name, it’s fucking disgusting.” 

”Not more disgusting than you and our little Richard _fucking_ each other’s brains out every night during a tour, secretly from any of their friends,” Katherine cooed. If Till wouldn’t have been cuffed, he would have ripped the woman’s head off right at this second. He didn’t dare to look at Paul.

Paul looked at Till with wide eyes. ''Y-you fucked him?'' It was no more than a whisper, but it was powerful. All those pent up feelings Paul had for Richard were audible in that one sentence. 

''Paul, please, it's not what it sounds like-'' Till tried to defend himself in this impossible situation. “I-I can explain, it’s not what you think it is…”

Katherine laughed - she enjoyed fully pulling the strings of her puppets. ''Not what it sounds like? Well, let me show you two something.'' 

Out of the pocket of her lab coat, she pulled a photo. Flashing it only a few seconds to Till, she shifted it over. On purpose, she kept it steady so Paul could get a good view - he couldn’t avoid seeing it. 

All color drained from the guitarist’s face, and he looked positively sick as he stared at the small picture. 

_No fucking way… Richard and Till, passionately kissing, tangled up in each other, Richard in Till’s lap and-_ Paul nearly suffocated when he realized what was happening in the photo - in that tiny photo that was able to ruin lives.

Paul didn't want to see anything further, so he did the only thing he could to pretend to have some control in this situation: he closed his eyes. He squeezed them shut, but just couldn't shake off the image of... 

_Till inside Richard_.


End file.
